no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
