In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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