no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
