you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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