Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
