How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
