i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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