i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
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if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize