God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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