Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
