Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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