I'm gonna have a badass scar
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
