She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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