And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
