If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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