Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
