Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
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Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
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I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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