I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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