id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize