just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
