So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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