Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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