my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
