You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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