Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
