I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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