Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
