My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
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What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
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you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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