well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
