The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
