vagina is talking i cant
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
