I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
