yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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