Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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