I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
