His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
