I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize