U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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