Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
