Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize