their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
