i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
