I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I can't turn off my feet"
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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