I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
