so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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