Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
