Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i out mim tonsoeep
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