i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
