I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
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I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
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I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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