I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official drugs can't kill me
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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