Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
