So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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