I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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