If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
