guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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