the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
