Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
