I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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