FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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