What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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