Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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