the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
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He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
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Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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